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It’s Just Lunch – Who’s Hungry?

04.23.2012 by J. Doe // 2 Comments

I am coming to the conclusion that Match.com just isn’t for me. Maybe what I need is a matchmaker. My friend Allie suggested It’s Just Lunch to me – a dating service that pre-screens prospective matches, and then sets you up at some mutually convenient time for lunch or coffee.

I google them and sure, enough, there’s a website with an online information request.

I fill it out and two days later, an extremely cheerful matchmaker calls me.

She tells me all about the service, which sounds great – mostly professionals (like myself), often  people who in their 40s or thereabouts (like myself), college educated (like myself), and so on. People who aren’t looking just for a hookup, but for something with more depth. She asks me lots of questions, and each question is rapidly followed by another question – so rapidly, indeed, that it does not seem possible that she is making note of any of my responses.

I also ask a lot of questions, and all of the answers are just right. Example:

“I’m recently separated, but not divorced yet. Is that a problem?”

“Oh, men don’t generally care about that – it’s not a problem at all.”

I found it odd that this particular element was so unproblematic that she did not explore it with so much as one follow-up question.

But she was so chipper and the answers were so pleasing that I found myself easily swept along with the flow of the conversation.

Then I made an inquiry about the cost of the service.

Apparently, it’s much more than a service, and therefore, you can’t just sign up – you have to be carefully selected for membership following an in-person interview at their office. And, although the office is nowhere near me geographically, it is also no problem to arrange something that fits my schedule.

Right, but what does it cost, I ask.

$2100 for a one-year membership.

Great, I said. I’ll think about that.

No, I don’t want to schedule my interview right now. I’ll think about it.

I email Allie with an inquiry – had she used this crazy expensive service, and was it worth the money, assuming one had that much to spare?

She replied quickly: Uh, no. Wow, that’s a lot of money. Her friend had used it. she’d check with the friend.

While I waited for her to follow up, I googled It’s Just Lunch reviews, and discovered that – surprise – people were by and large quite unhappy with the service, the quality of the matches and – surprise – the price-to-value proposition. I looked at reviews for Seattle and reviews elsewhere in the country.

You don’t often see that kind of nationwide consistency, outside of, say, the fast food industry.

Allie gets back to me. It wasn’t It’s Just Lunch her friend used, she says, it was Table For Six. But the friend met her spouse through Plenty of Fish, just FYI.

Plenty of Fish, I note, is free.

Categories // Matchless Tags // dating

Match.com: Date #3 – The Neverending Date, Part 11

04.19.2012 by J. Doe // Leave a Comment

A couple of eerily quiet days later, Date #3 calls me and says that he can’t see me again.

Why? I ask.

I just don’t think we’re a good match, he says.

I ask a few more questions, and am told that this is what his father has told him, this is what his friends have told him. I can’t decide whether to ask, “You mean all those friends who didn’t invite you over on Christmas?” or point out that he should really have opinions of his own at his age, and maybe he should seek counseling so that.

Mostly, I’m just annoyed that he fired me before I quit.

Categories // Matchless Tags // dating, match.com

Match.com: Date #3 – The Neverending Date, Part 10

04.17.2012 by J. Doe // Leave a Comment

Date #3 has nothing to do on Christmas. I don’t understand how someone can have 354 Facebook friends and nothing to do on Christmas. I moved to Seattle in September of 2001 with no Facebook friends or Seattle friends and still I had plans that Christmas. I debate if I should invite him over.

I don’t think people should be alone on Christmas. I feel sorry for people who have to be alone on holidays.

I am troubled that I am dating someone who evokes feelings of pity in me.

I ask my father, who is also coming for Christmas, what he thinks. Invite him, he says.

He comes over on Christmas at around noon, but is weirdly silent. I try to talk to him, but he’s unresponsive. My father tries, too, but gets very little in response. The Child does okay with him, in the sense that the remote control helicopter she got for Christmas broke and Date #3 is able to fix it.

She thinks this is grand, because she’s been spending the morning in the front hall, attempting to fly said helicopter in a straight line up through the center of the chandelier. I have told her I’ll be very happy if she breaks the chandelier because I’ve always hated it and The Departed always told me that these sorts of things couldn’t be replaced except at great expense. My father tells me you just need the right kind of ladder – like the one in my backyard.

Give me a reason to get it replaced, I tell her.

We do our best, but it feels awkward and strained. Date #3 has finally run out of words.

When I leaves, I ask what the problem is. He makes excuses that even he does not believe.

He asks me, Have you gotten any counseling? For what happened.

No, I say.

You should go to counseling, he tells me.

Is that what you do all day long? I think. Counseling in Castleville? Because I can see your Facebook posts and when you’re not IM-ing me or texting me or keeping yourself abreast of reality TV while your son plays video games, you seem to spend a lot of time there.

I say, thanks, I’ll think about that.

 

Categories // Matchless Tags // dating, match.com

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