Sprung At Last

A funny thing happened next. I had mentioned in my match.com profile that I have a book review blog, because I like to read. I haven’t done much with that blog lately – concentration seems to have fallen off my skills list – but the blog is still there and I still check the stats every so often.

It’s kind of fun to check the stats, and see the strange random search terms that drive traffic. My most regular readers seem to be my best friend, my father, and my two ex-husbands. The Departed didn’t read the blog when we were under the same roof, but suddenly, it seems to be his news source of choice*.

There are a lot of hits on my blog on this day, though. Something like fifty, or more. Someone has gone through and actually read every single post on it.

Somebody who works at Date #3’s company.

I’m impressed. He is too. We spend a lot of time discussing this. How he found it. How he used to have a blog too but it’s gone now.

You read a lot, he says.

I think, I read three times as many books as I review. Not every book needs my added commentary. What am I really going to say about The Help that hasn’t already been said?

I say, Yes, I like to read.

Reading can be a way of avoiding reality, he says.

I think, It can also be a way of avoiding reality tv. I don’t really like tv, which I notice he watches an awful lot of while he’s instant messaging and emailing.

I guess, I reply.

He sends me a link to his flickr stream. On it, there’s a picture of him in a suit. He’s cute. I like that picture, and tell him so.

He starts counting down until our date, via IM. I get regular updates, all day long.

*Probably because there’s absolutely no new information on it at the moment.

I get a wink on match.com, and check out his profile: decent-looking, age 44, and like me, interested in cooking.

The one flag here is that at age 44, he lists himself as “never married,” which in my universe means, “I have commitment issues.” But that’s okay because I’ve developed some commitment issues myself recently and wouldn’t mind just hanging out for a bit.

So I wink back.

I hear nothing for a couple of weeks. I also don’t give it much thought past, What was the point of that? And then an email appears in my box:

Thanks for returning my wink. I see we both have a strong interest in food. Any favorite cookbooks you would give your endorsement to? Any interest in meeting for a conversation? I hope this does not sound harsh but if you work for Bank of America I’m not interested in meeting.

Now, I had mentioned in my profile that I work at an investment bank, and in an attempt at humor, added the request that prospective matches please not picket my house. If you’re that upset about the evils the big banks have inflicted on the 99%, why are you answering my ad in the first place?

And another thing, maybe I need this job. Maybe I’m a single mother with no other way of paying my bills and the only job I could get to feed my child was with an evil empire? Would it be wrong then? Think carefully.

I debate with myself for several days about how to respond. I come up with a long, involved story about why I work for Bank of America so my child won’t starve but am actually a whistleblower helping to uncover their abusive practices and send regular reports to the Attorney General.

I don’t bother to reply.

I get a message via match: He’s clicked the “Sorry, but I’m not interested” button. Match sends me an automated email telling me not to feel discouraged, with helpful suggestions as to who else might be more interested.

I chuckle.