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It’s Just Lunch – Who’s Hungry?

04.23.2012 by J. Doe // 2 Comments

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I am coming to the conclusion that Match.com just isn’t for me. Maybe what I need is a matchmaker. My friend Allie suggested It’s Just Lunch to me – a dating service that pre-screens prospective matches, and then sets you up at some mutually convenient time for lunch or coffee.

I google them and sure, enough, there’s a website with an online information request.

I fill it out and two days later, an extremely cheerful matchmaker calls me.

She tells me all about the service, which sounds great – mostly professionals (like myself), often  people who in their 40s or thereabouts (like myself), college educated (like myself), and so on. People who aren’t looking just for a hookup, but for something with more depth. She asks me lots of questions, and each question is rapidly followed by another question – so rapidly, indeed, that it does not seem possible that she is making note of any of my responses.

I also ask a lot of questions, and all of the answers are just right. Example:

“I’m recently separated, but not divorced yet. Is that a problem?”

“Oh, men don’t generally care about that – it’s not a problem at all.”

I found it odd that this particular element was so unproblematic that she did not explore it with so much as one follow-up question.

But she was so chipper and the answers were so pleasing that I found myself easily swept along with the flow of the conversation.

Then I made an inquiry about the cost of the service.

Apparently, it’s much more than a service, and therefore, you can’t just sign up – you have to be carefully selected for membership following an in-person interview at their office. And, although the office is nowhere near me geographically, it is also no problem to arrange something that fits my schedule.

Right, but what does it cost, I ask.

$2100 for a one-year membership.

Great, I said. I’ll think about that.

No, I don’t want to schedule my interview right now. I’ll think about it.

I email Allie with an inquiry – had she used this crazy expensive service, and was it worth the money, assuming one had that much to spare?

She replied quickly: Uh, no. Wow, that’s a lot of money. Her friend had used it. she’d check with the friend.

While I waited for her to follow up, I googled It’s Just Lunch reviews, and discovered that – surprise – people were by and large quite unhappy with the service, the quality of the matches and – surprise – the price-to-value proposition. I looked at reviews for Seattle and reviews elsewhere in the country.

You don’t often see that kind of nationwide consistency, outside of, say, the fast food industry.

Allie gets back to me. It wasn’t It’s Just Lunch her friend used, she says, it was Table For Six. But the friend met her spouse through Plenty of Fish, just FYI.

Plenty of Fish, I note, is free.

Categories // Matchless Tags // dating

Chickpeas With Chard

04.21.2012 by J. Doe // 6 Comments

There are seasons to cooking, or so I’ve always thought: Grill in summer. Slow cooker in winter. Roast in fall. Brunch in Spring.

Yes, I know “brunch” is not a cooking method.

But today it’s spring with a vengeance in Seattle, and I think I’ve got everything mixed up. I should be out enjoying the sunshine, before it disappears behind another Seattle cliche cloud.

I recently picked up a copy of Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker Cookbook (NYM Series), mostly because it is full of vegetarian recipes, and I am desperate for ideas for The Child that don’t involve pasta or fish sticks. The first recipe I tried, Chickpeas with Chard, was worth the price of the book: Tasty, fresh, and light.

Like spring – in a slow cooker.

The Child refused to eat it, which was disappointing, but then again, she’s also sleeping through the first sunny day we’ve had here in over a week. She doesn’t know what she’s missing, which is okay – this recipe, I’ll make again, so she can try it then.  Can’t guarantee any more sunny days though.

Chickpeas with Chard from Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker Cookbook (NYM Series)

1/2 cup dried chickpeas

1 bunch swiss chard (I used rainbow chard because it’s so dang pretty)

2 cups water

1/4 cup olive oil

2 small white onions

2 tablespoons tomato paste

1/2 teaspoon salt

pinch cayenne pepper

pinch black pepper

Rinse chickpeas; soak overnight in three inches of water. Drain, put in slow cooker, add the two cups of water, and cook on high setting until tender, about three hours. Make sure chickpeas are covered with water at all times.

Chop the chard, blanch in boiling water for three minutes.

Chop the onions, and cook with the olive oil in a small skillet until almost golden and browned around the edges, about eight minutes.

Add chard, onions and oil, and remaining ingredients to chickpeas and water in slow cooker. Cook on high setting another 1 1/2 hours.

This is my contribution to Weekend Cooking, hosted by Beth Fish Reads. Why not swing by and see what other simple pleasures await?

Categories // The Joy of Cooking Tags // beans, chard, recipes, vegetarian, weekend cooking

Are We Not Friends?

04.20.2012 by J. Doe // Leave a Comment

Do you remember this band?

What about these guys?

Right. Me too.  I remember all of these bands, but didn’t especially love any of them in the 1980s. I think I owned one Tom-Tom Club cassette. I didn’t not like them – I was neutral, but I still remember a surprising number of their songs. The soundtrack of the 80s.

The Departed, on the other hand, loved Tom-Tom Club, so when, last summer,  an old friend of mine from high school posted on Facebook that all three of these bands would be playing in one night at an outdoor stage not five minutes from our house – well, we had to go.

I thought it would be great – get together with my friend and her husband, have some beers, enjoy some 80s music and memories. The Departed and I never seemed to have any couple friends – when my friends paired off, they seemed to do things with other couples we knew, but not us. I noticed this but chalked it up to age and other differences. Different interests. Our kids were different ages. Schedule conflicts.

I was disappointed, of course, when my friend told me her husband had made other plans for them on the night of the concert – unbeknownst to her – but since we already had our tickets, we decided to go anyway.

We got to the concert and spent some time people-watching and drinking beers while watching the opening act. We staked out a nice area to sit at on a grassy hill where we could see over most of the crowd, and periodically one of us would wander off to get more drinks, see what was for sale at the t-shirt booth, or use a rest room. I chatted with people nearby from time to time.

At some point, The Departed disappeared for a longer-than-expected time, and when I finally thought to look for him, discovered he was sitting a bit further away from the stage, with a group of people I recognized. College friends of his – people he would have known right about the time all this music originally came out.

A big group of them.

One couple had driven down from Bellingham just for the occasion – to see these bands at a stage not five minutes from our house.

They made, quick, vague remarks to gloss over the fact that we had not been called ahead of time to join the group. “Oh, we thought about calling you but didn’t know if you would want to come.”

Right, I think. That’s usually why you call someone. To find out if they want to come to something.

These aren’t my friends and although we exchange Christmas cards with some of them and see them from time-to-time, I don’t especially care. It’s nice to have other people to hang out with and talk to, not unlike the strangers seated near me that I’d been chatting with ten minutes earlier.

But I know now.

The Departed doesn’t notice.

Categories // Scenes From A Marriage Tags // reflections

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