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The Divorce: Medical Bills, Part 3

11.29.2012 by J. Doe // Leave a Comment

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The problem, of course, with collecting on any judgment against The Foreigner, or obtaining the documents he refused to produce, is this: He lives in another country. Sure you can do this stuff, but it gets difficult and time-consuming and, oh yes, expensive. I had mostly let it all go because I didn’t really need the child support and I was happy that The Child now had the college account that he had promised to her in our original divorce agreement.

I asked The Lawyer about this when my current woes began, because I was aware that a significant amount of fines had accrued. Can I collect this somehow? I asked.

It’s tough, he told me. I am not sure, because he did part of what was required – but not all. Start trying to collect it on your own, at least – send him letters, at least – so that if you decide to pursue it, you can show you’ve made the effort.

I might not be able to collect it all, and the expense and difficulty involved might outweigh what I might, maybe collect.

But The Foreigner doesn’t know this. And at the moment, he’s pissing me off.

Categories // The Divorce Tags // child support, divorce, single parenting

Baked Polenta with Chard and Cheese

11.28.2012 by J. Doe // 3 Comments

I’m not sure how long it has been since The Child last ate meat, but it’s been at least a couple of years; at any rate, long enough to convince me that this isn’t just some passing phase.

I don’t mind, really. I was a vegetarian myself for about a year, in high school; unfortunately, my cooking skills as well as my mother’s were not really up to the task, so I spent a year eating Kraft Mac and Cheese and grilled swiss cheese sandwiches. I finally abandoned the effort one day when I was overpowered by the smell of my favorite fried chicken place.

If you knew how stunningly mediocre their fried chicken was – salt and grease were the primary seasonings – you would lose all respect for me.

But my cooking has come a long way since then, and, rather helpfully, I’ve learned to appreciate quite a few more vegetables since then. The Child has, unfortunately, not, but she’s getting better. Most spicy things are still off her list, but she’s more willing to give something new a try. She devoured my Artichoke Lemon Hummus, which was quite a surprise, given I spent years watching people eat hummus before I finally dipped a carrot in and tentatively sampled it for the first time.

I keep trying new things and hoping she will like them. The rule at our table is, she doesn’t have to finish something new, but she does have to try it. It seems to be a good rule, and she’s encouraged to say what it is she does or doesn’t like about something, so that she and I can both learn from the experience.

She didn’t like this Polenta and Chard casserole, which I’ve served twice now – both times on Thanksgiving – in hopes that she would put more on her plate than mashed potatoes and bread. She found it “too spicy,” but I’m not sure that cutting the red pepper would help the situation. The spice is somewhat strong, but I found it pleasantly so and didn’t feel it overwhelmed the other flavors, which come together quite nicely.

I used blue cornmeal this year, and I wouldn’t do it again: it was too fine a grind and the polenta remained hopelessly soft no matter how long I cooked it. As important, the blue cornmeal, so pretty in the back, turned a sort of  unappetizing gray color once the cheese was added to it. (When I made this dish last year with plain white cornmeal, I used rainbow chard, and the resulting dish was much, much prettier.)

I also thought I was doing the dish a favor buying fresh mozzarella cheese, which was a bit too watery and delicate. I drained it and squeezed out as much moisture as I could before adding it, in part because I was already battling the wateriness of the polenta.

The final dish – although not terribly attractive – was delicious and held its own at the Thanksgiving table. I think, though, that it would do better as the star of the show, with some white wine and perhaps some nice crusty bread. Heated-up leftovers make a wonderful, savory lunch.

Baked Polenta with Chard and Cheese
 
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Although I serve this as a savory side dish, it would also make a super main course. It is very filling.
Author: Bon Appetit (via epicurious)
Recipe type: Vegetarian
Ingredients
Chard
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 large white onion, thinly sliced
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • ¼ tsp dried crushed red pepper
  • 1 lb swiss chard, chopped and thick stem sections removed
Polenta
  • 3½ cups water
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 cup polenta or yellow cornmeal
  • 1 cup ricotta cheese
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 cups coarsely grated mozzarella cheese
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Lightly oil a 2-quart glass baking dish. Heat oil in heavy large deep skillet over medium heat. Add onion; sauté until tender, about 15 minutes. Stir in garlic and crushed red pepper, then chard; cover and cook until chard is tender, stirring occasionally, about 8 minutes. Uncover; stir until any excess liquid in skillet evaporates. Season with salt and pepper.
  2. Meanwhile, bring 3½ cups water and salt to boil in heavy large saucepan. Gradually stir polenta into boiling water. Reduce heat to medium-low; simmer until polenta is very thick, stirring frequently, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat.
  3. Whisk ricotta and eggs in bowl; whisk in 1 cup hot polenta. Stir ricotta mixture into polenta in saucepan. Spread half of polenta mixture in baking dish. Spread half of chard mixture over. Sprinkle with half of mozzarella. Repeat layering with remaining polenta, chard, and cheese. Bake until puffed and brown on top, about 45 minutes. Cool 30 minutes.
Wordpress Recipe Plugin by EasyRecipe
3.1.09

Categories // The Joy of Cooking Tags // chard, cheese, polenta, recipes, vegetarian

The Divorce: Medical Bills, Part 2

11.27.2012 by J. Doe // Leave a Comment

Rather than pay the American medical bills for his American child, The Foreigner has a much better idea – what I should have done, and what he insists I must do next time: send her to the Netherlands. There, she can receive medical care that is either free or costs 360 euros per month, depending on what point The Foreigner is trying to make.

In the flurry of emails, I decide that this is a good time to remind him that he’s in contempt of court – something he has been for nearly six years.

The short version of the story: He applied for a child support support modification, insisting to the court that he was poverty-stricken, could barely feed the two children he’s had with his second wife. He provided a great deal of documentation in support of this point, showing he has barely any income in spite of having a master’s degree in electrical engineering and a very wealthy family from whom he has inherited considerable sums of money and property over the years.

I was astonished to learn that in Washington State, every time you produce another child, you are entitled to reduce the amount of support you pay the children you already have. My lawyer at the time explained that the courts believe these additional children should not have to suffer, and I guess I see the point, but it seems to me that my own child – who was there first and who his second wife was fully aware of when she produced these children – should still have priority.

I know, I’m greedy and needy.

So, when we had our day in court, I argued that he had not fully disclosed his assets, which included a large piece of commercial real estate – occupied by renters.

The Foreigner argued that he co-owned this with members of his family, and therefore it was none of the court’s business, and furthermore, his family refused to turn over any documentation for that reason.

The judge did not like this answer, and ordered him to turn over the documents showing the value of the property and the income it generated.

And when he didn’t, the judge fined him $25 a day until he produced the documents.

There were some other things involved – he ordered The Foreigner to produce a college account for The Child, which he actually did; he ordered to The Foreigner to pay my legal bills, which he partly did; and he gave The Foreigner a reduction in his child support.

So, like everything with The Foreigner, it’s a little bit muddy, but the fact remains: I have a court judgment showing that for six years, he’s been accruing fines of $25 a day.

I’ll spare you the trouble of doing the math: $54,ooo in fines.

And counting.

 

Categories // The Divorce Tags // child support, divorce, single parenting

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