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House-Made Pizza

08.24.2014 by J. Doe // Leave a Comment

Last spring, when The Child was still in her meat-free, limited eating mode, we rediscovered cheese sticks. She tried one at a friend’s house, and discovered that she liked them. I was thrilled to add one more thing to the short list of things she would eat, especially one that could be easily tossed into a lunch bag. I bought some at the grocery store, they disappeared. I bought more at the grocery store, they disappeared.

I went to Costco and bought cheese sticks. Lots and lots of cheese sticks.

Then The Child got braces, and although cheese sticks wasn’t on the official list of Things She Can’t Eat With Braces, it didn’t take very long to discover that the little bits of soft cheese get stuck in the metal and aren’t very pleasant to eat with braces.

This happened less than a week after my trip to Costco.

And so they sat there, the cheese sticks, waiting for someone to make use of them. Occasionally a friend of The Child’s would come over and eat one, but more often than not, her friends have braces, too.

After eight months of mostly sitting there, the Reg Dog joined our household, and when we began training him, we discovered that little bits of cheese worked well for training treats. So, I sliced cheese sticks in half lengthwise, and then into half-inch lengths, and trained the Red Dog with them. The cheese sticks began to slowly disappear, at a pace somewhat slower than glacial.

The pace picked up briefly when the Feisty Girl lived with us. Her new owner seemed a bit perplexed when, the day he came to pick her up, I insisted that he take a large bag of chopped up cheese sticks to train her. He didn’t argue the point, though, in spite of the fact that he probably already had his own supply.

Still I had a refrigerator drawer half full of cheese sticks, and though other foods came and went from the refrigerator, the cheese sticks lingered on. It seemed that, being labeled “cheese”, they should go bad, which would have allowed me to throw them out, but they never did.  And, try as I might, I never could find an expiration date on their hermetically sealed packaging.

We hit the one-year mark with the cheese sticks; I know this not because they finally went bad, but because the orthodontist told me. This is the time of year when most people are trying to figure out what to do with a excess of zucchini; my garden has produced exactly one zucchini this year, and I’m still staring down last year’s cheese. My zucchini plant is probably  just trying to help out by not giving me any additional overabundance to deal with.

Finally, though, I hit on the solution. What can I make that uses lots of mozzarella?

Pizza. Duh.

I can use it all up in one night.

So, I finally had a nice Saturday to myself, with nothing to do but pick blackberries, make jam, and while the jam and jars were simmering, let pizza dough rise. I used a simple recipe from Bobby Flay and learned a trick from watching the video: put pizza dough into a bowl to rise, and cover it with plastic wrap. Use a marker to draw an outline of the dough on the plastic wrap. You will now be able to tell when the dough has doubled in size, since you can easily compare it to the original size in the outline.

I was entranced by this newfound knowledge, and from time to time, stood there, watching dough rise.

Eventually it was ready, and I heated the oven, and used some premade pizza sauce. For the first pizza I tried slicing the sticks thinly, lengthwise, figuring that as they melted, they’d form a nice cheesy layer.

 

Pizza with evil cheese sticks

I put the pizza in the oven, and was surprised when, after about ten minutes, there was the distinct odor of something burning. The cheese sticks not only had not melted, they were turning black on their sharp edges.

My mistake, I thought, so for the second pizza, I grated the cheese instead. This time, the cheese took less time to scorch in the oven, which was a bit of a problem as I needed the crust to finish cooking.

Pizza with scorched "cheese."

I cut the pizza and The Child and I ate some, warily. She took hers into another room to eat while she read a book, but a few minutes later called out, Mom, it tastes just like Lunchables pizza!

I stuck my head in and she repeated herself, making little air quotes around “pizza.”

Well, that’s what I get for using “cheese,” I guess.

There was some good news, though: The pizza dough, in spite of being very thick due to my inability to stretch it properly, was actually very good. The Child thought it was excellent, and sang about it: I like thick crust and I will not lie.

The sauce from a jar was pretty good, too. (Thank you Mario Batali, Inc.)

But most important, after just one year, we’re down to the last two “cheese” sticks.

 

Categories // The Joy of Cooking Tags // kitchen disasters

Mixed Berry Crumble

08.11.2014 by J. Doe // Leave a Comment

When I moved to Oregon, I was delighted to discover I could pick two things on the side of the road: hazelnuts and blackberries. It turned out that the hazelnuts were actually on someone’s property, and possibly grown for profit, since Oregon is a major producer of hazelnuts.

The blackberries, however, were growing wild, all over the place, which I found delightful. When The Foreigner and I bought our house in Portland, I mentioned to our realtor my plan to put some blackberry and raspberry bushes in my backyard. They seem to grow so well here, I said.

I thought nothing could rattle our realtor, until that moment. Her eyes popped, but she quickly regained her composure, tactfully suggesting that I shouldn’t give up any of my limited yard space to grow something that I can pick so freely anyway.

I soldiered on: But it would be so nice to be able to go pick some in my own yard, to put on my cereal in the mornings.

Her eyes got big again. You don’t want these in your yard, she said. They will take over your yard; you will never, ever get rid of them. You’ll hire a service to get rid of them, and pay a fortune, and they’ll come back. Don’t do it.

I suspect the part she wanted to finish the sentence like this: … because I’ll never be able to sell this house if you do.

I learned two things from her that day: First, what the phrase invasive species means, and later, after we signed the contracts, how to pronounce Oregon properly (“not Ore-gone, Ore-gun. Repeat after me: Gonna get a gun, and move to Ore-gun.”)

I never did get a gun, but I did successfully sell the house with its blackberry-free yard a year later, and every August I head outside and pick fresh, ripe, blackberries that grow, well, everywhere in the Pacific Northwest. On Sunday, I took the Red Dog out for a walk, and came home with a Safeway bag full of fresh, free berries.

I was lazy, too – I only picked the ones I didn’t have to go on my tiptoes to reach.

Last year, around this time, I made Dahlia Bakery’s Sour Cream Coffee Cake with Berries and Cinnamon Streusel, which is a great use for blackberries, but after making Blueberry Buckle twice, well, I was kind of coffeecaked out. Also, I had foolishly purchased far more blueberries than I needed the second time I made the buckle, so not only did I have an abundance of fresh blackberries, I was overloaded with blueberries.

Fortunately, David Tanis came to my rescue with this recipe from A Platter of Figs: Mixed Berry Crumble. It calls for 6 pints (12 cups) of berries, but they can be any mixture of blackberry, blueberry, raspberry. I used half blueberries and half blackberries – use whatever you have on hand and is in season.

The wonderful thing about a recipe like this is how it is deceptively simple: It seems like there should be more work involved getting that much flavor out of berries, but there isn’t. Everything is there to highlight the berries, full stop.

This was one of those things that I just kept having a little bit more of – not too sweet, not too gooey, nothing but delicious berries and crunch.

I used up all my blueberries, which was a relief, and all my blackberries, which was a little disappointing as it seemed like I had picked more than I really did. But I walked the Red Dog again this morning, and there were more berries along the road, waiting for me to pick them.

 

Mixed Berry Crumble

Mixed Berry Crumble
 
Print
Cook time
1 hour
Total time
1 hour
 
Author: David Tanis, A Platter of Figs
Serves: 6
Ingredients
  • 1½ cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup packed brown sugar
  • ½ teaspoon cinnamon
  • 8 tbsp cold butter, cut into small pieces
  • 6 pints of raspberries, blackberries, or blueberries, or a mix
  • ½ cup granulated sugar
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 350F.
  2. For the topping, combine the flour, brown sugar, and cinnamon in a medium-sized bowl. Add the butter, and work it into the flour mixture with your fingertips until crumbly.
  3. In a large bowl, gently toss the berries with the sugar. Pile the fruit into a large gratin dish or into two pie plates. Spoon the topping over the fruit.
  4. Bake for an hour, or until the topping is browned. Cool for 15 minutes before serving.
Notes
6 pints is 12 cups. I used equal parts of blueberries and blackberries.
Wordpress Recipe Plugin by EasyRecipe
3.2.1303

 

Categories // The Joy of Cooking Tags // baking, blackberries, blueberries

Buttery Rye Crepes

08.07.2014 by J. Doe // 2 Comments

Last year, I added two raised garden beds to my back yard, loaded them up with compost and other organic enrichments, and planted a dazzling assortment from the local garden store. I would have zucchini galore, and carrots, and peas, and I could pickle my own beets, and come fall, I’d teach myself to can so that I could feast on my homegrown bounty all winter.

My grandfather used to tell me, never let a day go by that you don’t learn something, and I’m pleased to report that I learned things daily from my garden experiment, such as:

  • – plants, like second-graders, get lice, though they’re called aphids
  • – slugs will happily eat whatever parts of your plants the lice leave behind
  • – there are many organic remedies for every possible garden problem on the internet, and none of them work
  • – thin your plants. You won’t need to do this until you take care of the slugs and lice, but after that, it’s pretty important

Last year’s garden yield: some peas, a few tomatoes, and a couple of zucchini.

This year, having eliminated the slugs (in one mighty onslaught that The Child filmed and uploaded youtube with the title “Slugpocalypse!”), the garden seemed to do well at first, but then it did the same thing it did last year – just kind of stopped growing, and sat there, looking sad.

The Child didn’t see anything different, and told me I was obsessed again. I continued spraying with my internet-recommended mixture of household items that supposedly kill pests, but still nothing grew.

Then, I noticed my pepper plant leaves, which weren’t leaf-shaped at all. Something was sucking the life right out of them, and try as I might, it was nothing I could see anywhere on the plant. I googled again, and determined that the problem might be thrips, but then again, might not be, and either way, my internet-recommended household remedy was clearly no match for this invisible assailant. Moreover, given the steady stream of critters that have invaded my home and yard this summer, I clearly need to go on the offensive against every possible critter, not just whatever it is that’s currently bothering my pepper plants. I go to Amazon, and find some concentrate that promises to eliminate all sucking pests along with a few other things, mix it up in a big sprayer my father bought to help me clean my fence, and spray it all over my garden.

Every last drop of it.

I do the same thing the next week.

Three weeks later, my tomato plants are loaded with green tomatoes, my pepper plants boast little white buds, and my first cauliflower head has made an appearance. I may even get a zucchini or two this year.

Of course, I still have to wait a bit for the garden bounty to reach my kitchen, but I’m pleased that eventually there will be ratatouille and zucchini bread and a slim chance that I may yet need to learn to can so that I am able to manage all the tomato sauce I’m going to have to make. In the meantime, we’re winging it – trying to cook summery dishes without heating up the house, or using a grill, which has reverted to a nonfunctional state in spite of repeated efforts to fix it.

I ran across this recipe while searching for ways to use up the rye flour I bought to make Salted Chocolate Rye cookies a while back, since I enjoyed the rich flavor the rye flour imparted to the final product. I had sort of expected an odd-tasting cookie, mostly because I sort of expected the cookies to taste of caraway, like traditional rye bread does – but of course they didn’t, and neither do these crepes.

These crepes, dear reader, are buttery.

I struggled a bit with the recipe, because the batter did not “swirl and coat the pan” the way I expected it to, and my efforts to help it along tended to result in crepe deformities. I suspect the issue was too much rye flour: I failed to sift it – yes, I know better – and when I measured it out, tapped the measuring cup several times, and added more flour as it settled.

The end result, though, was some delicious, rich, buttery crepes, that were a bit thicker and a bit smaller in diameter than crepes usually are. The Child adored them, and sliced up some strawberries to eat with hers. I opted to squeeze a bit of lemon juice over mine, as the recipe suggests, and loved the way the acid complemented all that butter. I love the deep flavor that the rye adds, which holds its own against all that butter, but doesn’t overwhelm it either.

I’ve included the step for a caramelized sugar coating on the crepes, which I didn’t really feel added anything to the recipe – the crepes end up picking up even more butter (I love butter, but even I have my limits) for not that much sweetness and very little crispness, though that may have been my fault with the batter. Either way, next time I make these, I will try just a dusting of powdered sugar, or maybe a bit of sugar in whatever filling goes in.

They didn’t really meet the criteria of not heating up the house, but they were worth it.

 

Rye Crepes

 

 

Buttery Rye Crepes
 
Print
Author: Allison Roman, Bon Appetit
Ingredients
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • ¾ cup buttermilk
  • ¼ cup milk
  • ½ cup rye flour
  • ¼ cup all-purpose flour
  • ¼ teaspoon kosher salt
  • 2 tablespoons plus 4 tsp. sugar
  • ¼ cup unsalted butter, melted, plus 8 tsp., room temperature
  • Lemon wedges (for serving)
Instructions
  1. Blend eggs, egg yolk, buttermilk, and milk in a blender until smooth. Add rye flour, all-purpose flour, salt, and 2 Tbsp. sugar and blend well. With blender on low, gradually stream in melted butter. Strain batter through a fine-mesh sieve into a large measuring cup or medium bowl.
  2. Heat ½ tsp. butter in a medium nonstick skillet over medium heat until foamy. Pour ¼ cup batter into skillet and swirl to coat bottom of pan. Cook crepe until lacy and golden brown on one side, about 2 minutes. Carefully flip crepe and cook on other side until just cooked through, about 1 minute longer; transfer to a plate. Repeat 7 times with remaining batter and stack crepes, placing a piece of parchment paper between each as you go to prevent sticking (you should have 8 crepes).
  3. Just before serving, heat 1 tsp. butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Fold 2 crepes in half and place side by side in skillet; sprinkle with 1 tsp. sugar total, then flip. Cook until sugar is beginning to caramelize, about 1 minute. Repeat with remaining crepes. Serve with lemons for squeezing over.
  4. Crepes can be made 2 days ahead. Cover and chill.
Notes
I suggest omitting the caramelized-sugar step, and simply using a sweetened filling if you're looking for a sweet treat. The last step adds a bit too much butter and not enough sweet or crunch to warrant it.
Wordpress Recipe Plugin by EasyRecipe
3.2.1303

 

Categories // The Joy of Cooking Tags // rye, snack

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