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Hello Facebook: My Status Is Happily Divorced

01.02.2013 by J. Doe // 4 Comments

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The same day I receive my divorce decree, I post my new status on Facebook: I got what I wanted for Christmas, I announce. I got my divorce.

People who know me well say things like, Thank God or About Time.

People who know me less well say things like, Uh, congrats? I think. Or, I’m happy for you, if that’s what you wanted.

No, it’s not what I wanted. What I wanted is what I thought I was getting when I married him. But in lieu of that, I accept the state of Washington’s return policy.

But there’s a third category of message, rather unexpectedly. It goes like this: That’s great news. Can I take you out for a celebratory drink?

Categories // Matchless Tags // dating, single

Comments

  1. Toby @ Plate Fodder says

    January 2, 2013 at 4:46 am

    Those standard return policies are terrific, aren’t they? But wouldn’t it be nice if they were more like Best Buy and give you Double you money back? 🙂

    Reply
  2. J. Doe says

    January 2, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    Double my money? Who do I need to vote for? I could retire on that …

    Reply
  3. Raquel says

    January 3, 2013 at 8:14 am

    Congrats on a new start! Return policies are great no matter what it is. Wishing you the best on your next chapter!

    Reply
    • J. Doe says

      January 3, 2013 at 8:26 am

      Thank you! I appreciate return policies too – but I think next time I’ll rent rather than buy …

      Reply

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