I get a wink on match.com, and check out his profile: decent-looking, age 44, and like me, interested in cooking.
The one flag here is that at age 44, he lists himself as “never married,” which in my universe means, “I have commitment issues.” But that’s okay because I’ve developed some commitment issues myself recently and wouldn’t mind just hanging out for a bit.
So I wink back.
I hear nothing for a couple of weeks. I also don’t give it much thought past, What was the point of that? And then an email appears in my box:
Thanks for returning my wink. I see we both have a strong interest in food. Any favorite cookbooks you would give your endorsement to? Any interest in meeting for a conversation? I hope this does not sound harsh but if you work for Bank of America I’m not interested in meeting.
Now, I had mentioned in my profile that I work at an investment bank, and in an attempt at humor, added the request that prospective matches please not picket my house. If you’re that upset about the evils the big banks have inflicted on the 99%, why are you answering my ad in the first place?
And another thing, maybe I need this job. Maybe I’m a single mother with no other way of paying my bills and the only job I could get to feed my child was with an evil empire? Would it be wrong then? Think carefully.
I debate with myself for several days about how to respond. I come up with a long, involved story about why I work for Bank of America so my child won’t starve but am actually a whistleblower helping to uncover their abusive practices and send regular reports to the Attorney General.
I don’t bother to reply.
I get a message via match: He’s clicked the “Sorry, but I’m not interested” button. Match sends me an automated email telling me not to feel discouraged, with helpful suggestions as to who else might be more interested.
I chuckle.
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